Young men negotiating masculinities and love in a South African township.

Abstract

Young black men’s negotiations of love and intimacy, beyond the focus on force and violence, are minimally explored in South African scholarship. While studies have highlighted the ways that heterosexual relationships have functioned as sites through which men maintain their dominance over women, there is limited understanding of the ways that they resist dominant masculinities. Furthermore, recent scholarship has troubled the reductive readings of young black men’s lives, and have called for critical yet sympathetic approaches to understanding their lived experiences (Ratele, 2018). Therefore, this study explores how young black men, situated in the townships of Durban, navigate their experiences of romantic love and intimate relationships. Informed by critical feminist approaches to love and masculinities, this study emphasises the multiple and situated ways of being and knowing, and challenges reductive readings of young men’s lives. Empirical data were generated through individual interviews and focus group discussions with 34 young men in the INK (Inanda, Ntuzuma, KwaMashu) precinct of townships in Durban, South Africa. The research findings suggest that romantic love and intimate relationships are an important feature of young men’s daily lives. For most of the participants, romantic love and intimate relationships extended beyond public performances of (hetero)sexual prowess; instead, love was understood as an essential aspect of their shifting subjectivities – from boyhood to manhood. Key relational practices such as ukuchecka, which are often associated with public performances, emerged as important sites through which participants cultivated emotional and physical intimacies. Among the participants, their romantic relationships afforded new ways of expressing love, which enabled them to deemphasise sexual intimacy, which the participants expressed through the concepts of ukuhloniphana (mutual respect) and ukulinda (waiting). Specifically, romantic relationships were also conceptualised as affective sites that enabled the young men to co-navigate their daily lives with their girlfriends. Therefore, in this study, the critical and situated reading of young men’s experiences with love generated new knowledge about their expressions of love and experiences of intimate relationships. Typically thought of as a site of women’s vulnerabilities, these findings suggest that the context of romantic love offers progressive possibilities for young men to resist dominant masculinities. This study illustrates the value of exploring the mundane, everyday encounters of love and intimate relationships in young men’s lives. These findings have implications for local and international masculinities scholarship interested in the transformative possibilities of love and intimate relationships in young men’s lives.

Iqoqa.

Ukushela kwabesilisa abamnyama abasebancane nokusondelana ngokwezocansi, ngaphandle kokugxila ekuphoqeni nendluzula, kuyinto engabhekwa ngokwanele kwezemfundo eNingizimu Afrika. Nakuba ucwaningo luye lwaqokomisa izindlela ubudlelwano bobulili obuhlukile obusebenze ngazo njengezindawo amadoda alondoloza ngazo ukuphatha kwawo abesifazane, kunokuqonda okungaphelele ngezindlela amelana ngazo nokuqhakanjiswa kokubusa kwamadoda emiphakathini. Ngaphezu kwalokho, imfundo yakamuva iye yagxeka ukufundwa ngokunganabi ezimpilweni zabesilisa abamnyama abasebasha, yase iphakamisa izindlela ezijulile kodwa ezibheka ngokuzwelana ukuqonda ngokwenzeka empilweni yabo (Ratele, 2018). Ngakho-ke, lolu cwaningo luhlola indlela abesilisa abamnyama abasebancane, abasemadolobhaneni aseThekwini, abenza ngayo kwezokukhombisa uthando nobudlelwane bokusondelana ngokocansi. Kususelwa ezindleleni ezibucayi zokulwela amalungelo abesifazane kwezothando nezobudoda, lolu cwaningo lugcizelela izindlela eziningi nezisesimweni sokuba khona nokwazi, futhi luphonsela inselelo ukufundwa ngokunganabi kwezimpilo zabesilisa abasebancane. Imininingo engokoqobo yenziwa ngokuba nezingxoxo nabantu ngabanye nezingxoxo zamaqoqo abesilisa abangama-34 agxile esihlokweni esithile endaweni ye-INK (Inanda, Ntuzuma, KwaMashu) eseThekwini, eNingizimu Afrika. Okutholakele ocwaningweni kuphakamisa ukuthi ezokukhombisa uthando nokusondelana ngokocansi yizinto ezibalulekile ekuphileni kwansuku zonke kwabantu besilisa abasebancane. Kubabambiqhaza abaningi, ukukhombisa uthando nokusondelana ngokocansi kudlulela ngale (kobulili obuhlukile) kwekhono lokukhombisa uthando; kunalokho, uthando luqondwa njengento ebalulekile ekushintsheni kwezimo zabo – kusukela ebufaneni kuya ebudodeni. Izindlela eziqavile zobudlelwano ezinjengoku -checka, ezivame ukuhlotshaniswa nokuveza uthando esidlangalaleni zivela njengezindawo ezibalulekile ababambiqhaza abanisela ngazo ukusondelana ngokwemizwa nangokoqobo. Kubabambiqhaza, ubudlelwano babo bothando busho ukukwazi ukuveza uthando, okwenza bakwazi ukwehlisa isidingo sokusondelana ngokocansi, ababambiqhaza abakubonise ngemiqondo yokuhloniphana nokulinda. Ngokuqondile, ubuhlobo bothando nabo babucatshangwa njengezinto ezithandekayo ezenza abesilisa abasebancane bakwazi ukuqhubeka nempilo yansuku zonke nezintombi zabo. Ngakho-ke, kulolu cwaningo, ukufunda kabanzi ngendlela ehlelekile ngempilo yabesilisa abasebancane yezothando kwaveza ulwazi olusha mayelana nokukhombisa kwabo uthando kanye nobudlelwano bokusondelana ngokocansi. Ngokuvamile, kubhekwa njengendawo yobuthakathaka kwabesifazane, okutholakele kuphakamisa ukuthi umongo wokukhombisana uthando udala amathuba kubantu besilisa abasebancane okumelana nokuqhakambiswa kokubusa kwamadoda emphakathini. Lolu cwaningo lubonisa ukubaluleka kokuhlola ukuhlangana okungokoqobo, kwansuku zonke kwezindaba zothando nobudlelwane bokusondelana ngokocansi ezimpilweni zabesilisa abasebancane. Lokhu okutholakele kunomthelela kwezemfundo yasendaweni neyakwamanye amazwe maqondana nobudoda okunentshisekelo emathubeni aguqulayo ezothando nasebudlelwaneni bokusondelana ngokocansi ezimpilweni zabesilisa abasebancane.